Dr.Nguyen Hai Ninh aka Hani Oppa's lessons :)))))

It takes a very long time to find the second teacher that I really really really admire and respect that way after my head teacher in junior high school. This person no wonder is Dr. Nguyen Hai Ninh a.k.a Hani Oppa. The reason why I call Mr. Know it all Oppa is simple - age doesn't go the same way with the definition " Young" or "Old". It's about characteristics and the way people spend their life, the way they think, bla bla.
And the way Hani Oppa "enjoying" his life is exactly the way I always wanted.

The thing about Hani Oppa is that  he is not only teach us the real knowledge but also how to think which is one of the most difficult challenges for all of the education reforms' makers.
I almost agree to all of the things he said based on his point of views. Because like he said, there are things I cannot agree with him totally cuz I also believe things from my perspective.
For instance, I believe people CAN make the history not just only History creates great man like he said such as Bill Gates - one of the most rich&famous person had created the world we are living in today - the world of technology.
Just like I mentioned above, I almost agree almost all the things he said.
From his perspective, I realise several things:

Changing destiny or fate or whatever , you know, it's not really the main point, it's actually just about your attitude towards your life - you are the only one who take responsibilities for your decisions, your life. I mean, it's hard to have a perfect life you always wanted or let it the way you wanted it to, however, it doesn't mean you cannot be happy. Who says my teacher doesn't have a happy life even I strongly believe according to some people, in his age, he should have a different life or act differently.
And you are just a small element in this big big world, there are things you cannot control, there are things you can do whatever it takes to avoid it but it will happen anyway. So the only thing you should do is enjoying this life as much as possible :D

When you are young, you should choose your ups and downs. It's not really an easy thing to do. But that's why we are here to learn, aren't we?
When he said about people should choose when and where to fall. I remember a story about Steve Jobs, he chose to leave Apple when he knew not many people in the company which is the one he was the founder stood by his side. And then the new chapter was opened for him and you know what happened next, he came back to Apple and he also was the founder of great Pixar and brought Apple in its golden age. When we choose to do something, it is our own decision, we feel more free and relax to begin again and try something new and creative and bla bla :).

"We don't want to be all the same but we do want to understand each other".
He helped me to realise the beauty in Travelling is to see new things but it's not only about "actual" things like a building or something but also about people's lives and stories in that place.
Understanding a CULTURE is quite an exceptional thing we should do.
Learning a HISTORY is actually a precious knowledge we have ever learned. We have to know deeply about our own glorious history- our past in order to create a bright future for the next generation.
We have to let somebody do a totally different things even it sounds insane in the first place. Because if we don't do things and think differently, how can we be able to move forward to compare with other nations like Uncle Ho said?
How can things can be better if we only want to do things the way keep us stand still or worst moving backward?
We can do all ways possible to achieve the things we want but it's not involve trampling others and stabing other people in the back.
We should take responsibilities for what we have done. Don't use "collectivism theory" for excuses.
We need to be united to moving forward but don't using that with a bunch of people to avoid responsibilities.

I'm not actually objecting some thoughts of him about the role of woman and their behaviors, personalities in a modern world. We have to accept the fact even it's bad before we can overcome it ,deal with it and finally capable of using it. Just like one of the quote in IB lessons  " There are three ways to add value in a world where differences are still matter ADAPTATION, AGGREGATION, ARBITRAGE" I know what side I choose I have to sacrifice the other side but it's just my choice and the life I wanted. I acknowledge it and won't deny it but I accept it because it's my choice. That's all.
I understand it so I won't be so DOWN when it actually happen someday. And I won't judge other people's lifestyles cuz that is the decisons to make, just like mine. But thank you for reminding of the ugly facts, Hani Oppa :">

And last but not least, the hot topic in recent days in my class : "LOVE". :)))
I just want to say briefly that sometimes, we do acknowledge things but we do it anyway just to experience it cuz it's not really will break us into piecies when " Break-up thing in love'' does happen eventually. They will cover soon so Oppa should let them "experience" it on their own. It sounds more exciting =)))

There are more things I learned from Hani Oppa's sharings but I prefer to keep it for myself for now :P

Family and Friends

Thursday and I'm too lazy to do anything. I decided to stay at home and watched TV.

And that's the way how I know The Kings of Summer and this movie is the reason why I write this blog.

Watching The Kings of Summer , I felt something very familiar. When I was a kid, I always wanted to grew fast to become a grown-up. I hated being told what to do. I hated following orders. I always wanted freedom. Sometimes our family treated like we were only a kid ( even it was true) but we could not accept that fact. We wanted to be treated like an adult who can take responsibilities for our own lives.

We wanted to go away, to live by our own, to seek freedom, to show adults we are not their kids anymore.

 But there were more things I learned from this awesome movie ( I can understand now why The Kings of Summer has very high IMDB rating around 8 or more. I highly recommend you should watch it).

There will be a time when we won't be able to find an agreement between we and our best friends, and we might think we lost them because they are not who they used to be anymore, we don't have something in common with them that bind us together anymore.

There will be a time we break down because of our best friend. Let's imagine what will you do if our crush fall in love with your best buddy, not you?

And it's not your fault, you crush fault or you bff fault. It's just natural, they fall in love with each other. That's all. I don't think I can accept that fact easily. I can be mean at anytime. That's who I am. And nobody's perfect, right?

But come to think of it it's just a crush, not love. Let it go and wish them live happily ever after are the right thing to do. Why let that stupid thing ruins our friendship we build on trust and understanding for a very long time. 

I don't care what people think of you, if you care about me, I care about you, we appreciate our friendship more than anything, we can even go to hell for our best friend if it necessary just like they way Baggio did for Joe in The Kings of Summer.

Forever Friends

And after all , Joe still miss Patrick and want they can be best buddy again even he used to mad at him because of the relationship between Patrick and Kelly- Joe's dream girl.

More importantly, this movie is about how parents treat their kids. Our parents always love us A LOT.

It's just they show it the wrong way sometimes. That's what create our barriers and misunderstanding with our parents. Because we never told them what we really think so they thought the way they did, all the things they told us to do were the best for us.

Home sweet home :x

But when they figure it out, they will do things differently, make it better. Because in the end, family is the one always support us,always stay by our side, never left us even when the whole world turns back on us. We just need to talk to them honestly, give them more time and chances to understand about us. That's all.

After all, it won't be an awesome moment without our family and friends being there with us, right?

Best summer ever \m/

July is about comin' to an end.
I don't want to say this due to the fact that recently people have been witnessing many tragic events ( I will mention about it on another blog).
This one I only want to talk about my beautiful and wonderful July which is the best month in the whole year, helps me have the best summer ever.

I joined the Global Passport Project of AIESEC which is the best decision I've ever made - I have to admit that. I made a lot of friends, learned bunch of new things, realised many precious lessons that I will never forget. I realise I need to learn a lot more to become the one I always wanted to be. I realise what I really wanna do, what I am really good at and where I really wanna go so badly.
Actually, I have to admit that I don't really enjoy having fun when I was in the project but thanks to this project I discovered a lot about myself. That's definitely not an easy thing to do.
In the near future, I absolutely will join more and more different projects of AIESEC. It's so fucking awesome !!!!
I also joined Vietnamese Youth Model United Nations but unfortunately I was not joined as a delegate , only an obsever but you know, I realised that I am really interested in Politics, United Nations,...
 From now on, I know what kind of information I need to do research, what kind of skills I need to learn and improve, what kind of person I wanna become. And one more important thing, I determine to become a delegate of VYMUN next year.
In July, I also know that I'm truly passionate about English - which is one of the languages I love the most. I'm not only want to learn it as an academic language because it's a beautiful language. Actually, it's more than a language to me. I  truly want to know more deeply about this language through cultures, literature and history and other things.
There were few bad things happened. I was so upset about that but now I take it as a lesson which reminds me of how bad I really am and I need to change to become a much person because I don't want to miss any opportunities come to me anymore just because I'm not a responsible person. I need a big change and I promise I will change.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebXbLfLACGM

On the very first day of July, I met up with my old friend from junior high school after so many years we haven't seen each other. We used to thought we just only normal friends just like everyelse we accidentally meet in this life but it turned we felt like we just never far apart, we just like always talk to each other because after for a long time, we still know each other so well. In the end, it won't be an awesome moment of your life if your friends won't be there to share it with you.
I also realise that I quite keen on learning because it helps me know more about this world. I will never stop learning.
There are still many things I learned from July :x and bunch of things I wanna share but I guess this is kinda enough for today ^^ Ah, almost forgot, Germany won the World Cup this year Woohoo!!!!!
Summer 2014 - Best summer ever <3

Quote for today

Whatever the path you chose, you always looked back and felt nostalgic about the path you didn't choose.
That's why there will never be something like choosing without regrets. You have to believe the path you chose is the right answer and make it right. That's all.
Happiness is something inside you, it's the way you think. The way you acknowledge yourself, the way you make a decision and create a habit.
Sometimes, barriers are formed by our limited thoughts. Think outside the box, overcome all the obstacles in front of you and you will find your freedom.
Lost isn't scary, the most scary thing is you don't know where to go. Once you commit to doing it, no matter where you go, you will reach your destination.
If you can't get a miracle, become one.

My plan

There are several things I just realised so important to me to do right away before it's too late.
And also now I'm  aware of how powerful and effective it is to have a very clear plan for the future and commit to following it.
I was so immature few months ago. Just want to go, leave this place and come to a totally different place. Why I didn't think of the way to do it? I only thought of " I need to go, go and go" but actually I haven't prepared anything for it.
Come to think of it right now, I'm so dumb!!!
But now just put it aside.
I know now I need a specific plan for me to follow to get what I really want.
First, this summer (there will be another blog writes about my coffession for what I've done wrong) I decide to take an IELTS class in order to take the real test on December this year or January if I need to pratice more.
And my goal is to get at least 7.5. I know it won't be easy but right now I already got at least 5.5 so if I work flat out I think I can be able to pass with flying colors.
I also need to put an effort to become a conscientious person to achieve a good performance in my university ( I know I can't get an excellent one but still I will try my best).
When I get my IELTS test result ( I hope I can reach my goal). I will immediately study CFA level 1 in my third year in university. I want to have it to beautify my profile. I know it will cost me a lot of money, time and effort but I commit to doing it. So when I'm in final year I can be able to achieve the CFA level 1 certification
Because when I graduate with the CFA level 1 certification, I can find a good job ( I hope so) to earn money to continue pursuing my study abroad and my hobby is to travelling.
I almost forgot to mention, while I'm studying for the IELTS exam I also practise TOEFL iBt because you know studying the old format of an exam all over again it could be so boring. And it can be an open door for me if I want to study MBA in USA.
And also if I commit to working around the clock these days in my final year, I can have a little more spare time to do some charity works or join a non-profit organization to also beautify my profile.
And finally while I'm working to earn money I also prepare for GMAT test because it's a requirement when you want to study Master Degree in Business.
I also need to how to drive a motorbike and a car. At least a motorbike for me because it makes me more independent  and in my free time , I want to learn other languages such as Spanish, Japanese,.. maybe not too much, just know how to say some basic phrases :)

I guess there's no other way than work my a** off to get all these things.

Spontaneous

Some parts in me always wish somehow I could be just like almost people living and stuyding here right now. I wish I could be a person enjoy everything she has without any high expectations. I wish if I couldn’t change the fact that I’m a daydreamer, I could have gut to chase after what I always wanted, what I truly believe in. Even I myself cannot know exactly what kind of person I am.

Who the hell am I? What am I capable of? What can I do?

I live, I eat, I breath, I go to school, I learn, I play,… Everything I do everyday in this place just seem so normal, so not unusual at all. Why am I still feel like I’m missing something very important?

From time to time, I was utterly contemptuous of myself. I thought maybe I should accept this situation I’m in entirely, I shouldn’t try to struggle violently to get out. Because the more I struggled, the deeper I sank in the mud.

I’m so confused. People who know me, not “know” the way truly understand the person I am, people who have been known me for a very very long time, they already witnessed how many times I had failed. They told me not to dream so far, out of my reach. They told me just try to fit in, try to settle down, just try to be not so bad. In conclusion, just try to be a normal person. They used to think I can be not very good but at least I can be good enough for them. I used to hate them for the way they think I am. I blame them, I blame everything else for what I’ve done, for my own failure. But now, I’m aware of my own self. I have nobody to blame but myself. But what I can do to change that fact?

Nothing. Nothing I can do to change the past, to change what already done, what already happened.

I also realised that they weren’t underestimated me the way I think it was. They just worry about me, they don’t want me to dream the thing I cannot reach. They are just realistic, they don’t want me to be lost in daydreams, to have my head on the clouds. Because they are the one who already saw “what” I became when failed, when I couldn’t have what I wanted.

I’m sorry for hating you for so long. I didn’t realised you just don’t want to see me disappointed, you always want me to live happily but I’m so selfish, I only think about myself, what I can do for myself, what I can achieve for myself, I couldn’t see that very clearly. But now I am. I really am.

I’m sorry for living in fantasy and forgetting about reality in front of me for so long. I’m sorry for not smiling as much as I can when I can. I’m sorry for sometimes ruining the happy moments of our big family. I’m sorry for crying and even don’t bother to pretend I’m happy and congarulations to my counsin’s success. I was jealous of what he’s capable of, I was blindly jealous, why I can’t the thing he can, why he has to be so different from me, everytime he say he wants something, he undoubtedly  makes it comes true. I’m so ashamed of myself. How can I ever think that?
My dearest

Everyone was born with their own unique things to distinguish them with the rest of the world. I was born orginal why am I want to live my life like a copy? I know I want to be successful just like him but at that time I did not know he worked very hard to gain what he dream of. Look at me, and I ask myself, for once in my life have I ever worked my a** off to achieve something? The answer is very crystal clear: No. That’s the big different between me and him. And I know he totally understands what he’s really good at. Once again, look at me. I’m not sure what I’m good at.I don’t even know what I really like to do and what I really want to become. I have to spend time to figure out all these things on my own before getting into something else. No matter how long it takes. Because if I can’t find what truly belong to me, only I have it, it’s my thing I can never truly live my life. Because when everything else fall apart, what truly me can’t never go away. Even now I’m still on my way find out all these things by myself, I’m truly happy for my cousin, I’m very proud of him and he will be my motivation to continue pursuing what I believe meant to be done.

I have to admit that there’s a time, even now sometimes I still feeling that way I’m jealous of other people’s family and I think why can’t my family be like that?

And I’m really really sorry for that thought. Nobody’s perfect. My family always beside when I’m up and down. Everytime when I feel lost my way, home is the only place I can run to, I can be the one and only me. Long time ago I didn’t know exactly the meaning of “Home” but now I am. And I won’t trade them for anythingelse fame, money or something. That’s only the surface. It’s not the true thing and won’t last forever. But love from family is ever lasting feeling and won’t fade away easily.
Just like the song from Hannah Montana: The Movie
You'll always your way back home

I know you’re all worry about me. But this time believe me, when I find out what are the things I truly want to do, nothing can stop me and even I fail again, I will find another way but I won’t never lose myself or lose what I treasure the most. I know maybe you will think just another fantasy dream. But now it’s not. Because I know what I can do and can’t do. I still hestitate and not sure about several things, still confused about my future, still trembling but when I’m figure it out believe me I will take my chance and do it. Is that too much to ask when we all living only one life? I won’t let go what important to me, I won’t be sad and depressed too much when things fall down like all the other time. Just have faith in me, everything will be alright what meant to be, it will be.

Thank you all for always being there for me. Thank you for giving me this life and all the experiences I’ve been through. Sometimes it hurts so bad, sometimes I just wanna delete it all from my memories but I won’t never trade it for somethingelse. I'm thankful for the things I don't have.Sounds crazy hah. Because what I have and not have are the things make me ME

Because these experiences are my own things, no one else can have it except me in this big big world

It will be

You know, life sometimes has very extraordinary way to surprise us.

I don't really know until the day came and told me "I should try that". All of a sudden, I realised something.Something is very important.I have known it for a very long time. I always wanted to become a part of it. It's just time passed by and I totally forgot about it.
And now, when everything seems to fall apart, that love comes back to me like a guide light, guide me through the darkness and shows me I still have hope, that hope won't never leave me, it always there beside me when I need it the most.
And of course I believe it's my destiny therefore it won't be easy for me to reach it. Nothing worth having comes easy, you know. You have to go through many challenges to prove it's not just another day-dream of yours.
You may wonder whom I have to prove to.
Not surprisingly, this one is me. I used to fool myself it was my family.I can't go anywhere with their permission, their acception. But believe me, they only do that because they don't think I can go anywhere.Why? Because it's my dream but I'm the one who don't believe I can do it in the first place.
So if I can't prove to myself I need to do it and I can, I will only stand still.
You may ask why my blogs are all full of my writings just like a dairy.Maybe it's not.
But right now, it really is.
Because I'm so confused. I write so later on I can see it and one day when I finally go through all of these problems I can be so proud of myself.
Despite of all the doubts, I will not let it go this time.
I decide to keep it tightly and won't let go no matter what happen. And now I won't afraid of time anymore because I believe if it's meant to be. It will be.
I fight for it til the end no matter how long it takes.
The day will come, soon, when I can finally say So lucky I won't give up on you easily that time , my precious dream :x